


John Sheppard's New Rule

by DraconisWing24441



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Atlantis return to Pegasus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-25 23:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12543944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DraconisWing24441/pseuds/DraconisWing24441
Summary: Rodney goes off world to examine some alien technology found by another Atlantis team.  Things happen and half the team returns to Atlantis with the news that Rodney has gone missing.  John immediately rushes off in search of him.





	John Sheppard's New Rule

**Author's Note:**

> I'm shit at summaries. This is my first fic here on A03 and the first Stargate one I want to share. Hope you like it!

John Sheppard’s New Rule

 

Cold.

He was so cold.  And wet.

So cold, in fact, that he was only marginally certain his ankle was broken.  It was hard to tell, since he couldn’t _see_ his ankle. His head hurt, too, which he was pretty sure couldn’t be good.

He closed his eyes, trying to focus.  Someone would find him.  Preferably before he froze to death from hypothermia.

Opening his eyes, he tried to lift himself up and see where his radio had gone.  He could only hope that nothing had messed with his subcutaneous tracker.  His head dropped back to the ground with a soft thump, his eyes sliding shut again.

Sheppard would find him.  He just had to hope it was soon.

 

*****

 

Colonel John Sheppard had been stuck in his office all day, doing paperwork.  Three years after Atlantis’ return to Pegasus and Woolsey was still a stickler for paperwork.  And not just mission reports.  As military commander of the city—and recently promoted full Colonel—John had a whole host of other forms to fill out.  There were the regular maintenance, requisition, etc. forms but he also had to take care of everything that came with new personnel—quarters, team assignments, training, ATA gene testing and the subsequent training, figuring out who was actually able to go off world, etc.  And, yeah, they were digital for the most part, but still…..

It gave him a headache and usually Lorne took care of most of it for him—god bless Evan Lorne—but he was getting ready to go off world with his own team.

John leaned back in his chair, pushing it back onto two legs, and stretched, cracking his back as he did so.  A quick glance at the clock showed him it was late afternoon.  He wondered how Lt. Parson and his team were doing with Rodney.  A relatively new team, they’d had an overnight mission based on information they’d discovered in one of the Ancient databases.  They’d radioed in around midmorning, claiming to have found what their scientist said was Ancient tech, and requested Rodney’s presence.  He was all for it, predictably, and John would have gone with him but for the endless amounts of paperwork.  Rodney had promised to be careful and John had quietly threatened Parson with all manner of things to ensure that they took adequate care of his scientist.

Alarms sounded and the chair hit all four legs with a _thunk_.  John was on his feet and out the door a moment later, heading for Stargate Command.

“Colonel Sheppard to the gate room.”

He picked up the pace, biting out a quick, “On my way.”

As he hurried, John tried to remember just which teams were off world at the moment.  AR-14 had left this morning to help the Athosians with the harvest.  AR-4 was on P4X-781, and AR-9 was on….P3Z-H39.  Lorne and AR-2 were due out soon.  And, of course, Parson’s team with McKay.  Any one of them could have run into trouble and needed an EVAC.  His first thought was always about his family—had something happened to Rodney?

A minute later, John entered Stargate Operations and jogged down the steps to join the security team on the floor.  “Is it one of ours?” he called up to Chuck upon seeing the shield still up.  No Woolsey, yet.  For once, he was not in his office.

“Waiting for IDC now, Colonel,” Chuck called back.

Lorne arrived with his team and wordlessly handed John a P90 that he accepted with a nod of thanks and aimed it at the gate.

A few tense seconds passed before Chuck called out, “Receiving Lt. Parson’s IDC, sir!”

“Let ‘em in,” John said and motioned for everyone to relax.  He kept his gun raised slightly, though.  Parson’s IDC.  Not Rodney’s.  Worry clenched his stomach tight.

Parson and a member of his team stepped through, John sparing a brief moment failing to come up with a name.  Parson turned to John and the look on his face was telling. 

His arms lowered unconsciously, the gun falling to his side.  John struggled to keep his voice light as he asked, “Everything okay, Lieutenant?”

Lt. Parson came to full attention in front of him.  “We . . . . ran into a bit of trouble.  Sir.”

Okay, so they didn’t come running in which meant they hadn’t been attacked, John figured.  So it was maybe an injured teammate?  He raised an eyebrow and, with a lightness he certainly did not feel, drawled, “You forget something, Parson?  Teammates get a little too sloshed?  Or is McKay requesting more time off?”  John paused at the look on the kid’s face.  “Or is this the kind of trouble that leads you to leave two members of your team and the Chief Science Officer off world?”

Parson’s jaw tightened.  He looked up at the balcony, where Woolsey had arrived and was watching.  John could see Parson was thinking about his next sentence very carefully.  He also saw the moment Parson decided there was no easy way to confirm John’s fears as he turned back to face him.  “Dr. McKay is missing.”

John’s world bottomed out with that one simple sentence.

 

*****

 

John leaned against the wall as Parson and his teammate were debriefed.  Woolsey, Lorne, Teyla, Ronon, and Beckett all sat in as well.  They had just listened to Lt. Parson describe the events leading up to his premature return to Atlantis.  What started as a typical off world expedition had turned into needing Rodney which then somehow went disastrous and ended with his scientist apparently getting blown up.  While John was relieved to hear that none of the soldiers had been injured, killed or kidnapped in any way, shape, or form, that relief was tempered by the fact that his best friend was now missing.  In light of that fact, John thought they’d understand if he showed a bit of emotion.

“I asked you to do _one_ thing, lieutenant.  One simple thing.  Keep McKay safe.  Now, I know that babysitting scientists is not all that interesting but they forget the world around them exists when playing with shiny toys and it is our job— _your_ job—to keep an eye on things so this.  Doesn’t.  Happen.”

“Colonel, it’s not his fault.  None of us knew what that tech would do,” Parson’s teammate offered.  Dammit, what was his name?  It was like—Spanish, right?  Santiago, maybe?  He was relatively new, probably from one of the Daedalus’ drop-offs a few months back.  “I have had the ATA gene therapy and it only barely reacted to my touch.  How would we know it would react so demonstratively for Dr. McKay?”

“Because McKay has had the gene therapy for years now and therefore has a stronger gene presence than you,” John snapped.

“Colonel,” Woolsey said warningly.

John bit his tongue but shot Parson a look.  They’d be having a very pointed conversation later.  Parson nodded slightly, showing he understood.  Parson had been assigned to Atlantis right before the return and John had taken great pains to explain to the new team leaders just how important it was to keep the scientists alive when not on Atlantis.  Or on Atlantis.  Scientists were very important if you wanted to stay alive and keep the city alive.  As a three-year vet, Parson knew better.

“Now,” Woolsey said, “Lieutenant, when was the last time you had contact with Dr. McKay?”

“Nearly two hours ago, sir.  We had radio contact up until the blast.  I lost contact with the rest of my team for a while but we’ve received nothing from Dr. McKay.”  Parson turned to John.  “I only brought Captain Dominquez back with me to help explain the situation while Miller and Barton looked for him.  He’d been working on the device and exploring the area when it all went FUBAR.  Sir.”

Dominquez, that was it!  He knew it was Spanish.  John couldn’t help it as he heard himself say, “You could have radioed it in and kept looking.”

Parson nodded slowly.  “We could have, sir, yes.  But I knew you would want to ask more questions than we’d be able to over the radio.”

John nodded, conceding the point, and looked at Woolsey.  “Permission to mount a rescue, sir?”

Woolsey nodded solemnly.  “Permission granted, Colonel.”

 

*****

 

John ran through his mental checklist as he double-checked the cases in his ‘jumper.  They tried to keep anything and everything that could be needed in them but he liked to have a little extra in his.  He kept some more personal belongings as well as removing any MREs that contained citrus, no matter how little. 

Now, he pulled the last strap tight and moved to the cockpit to start her up.  First thing he planned to do once through the gate was locate Rodney’s tracker.  The HUD should pick it up no problem.  Something Parson should have done the moment he knew Rodney was missing.  Maybe he needed to add a training day—what to do when you lose a scientist off world or something like that.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he looked up into the reassuring gaze of Teyla.  She smiled down at him then moved to sit behind him.  “Rodney will be all right, John.  We will find him.”

“Just hope he’s not too badly injured when we do,” John responded.

The rest of the rescue team filtered through.  Lorne took up the co-pilot seat, Ronon behind him.  Lorne’s team took the benches along the back with Beckett and his gear.  Parson and Dominguez rounded it out.  A full load but they had a lot of ground to cover if for some reason they couldn’t locate his tracker.

John turned the ‘jumper on and lowered it down to hover in the gate room.  Once they were level with the gate, he gestured to Lorne and said, “Dial it up, Major.”

Lorne leaned over and quickly tapped out the seven symbols.  The wormhole formed and John piloted her through, Woolsey’s quiet, “Good luck, Colonel,” echoing through their comms.  Once the ‘jumper was fully through, John activated the cloak and aimed for the sky.

“Lieutenant, which way am I going?”

He came up to lean on the back of John’s chair and pointed out the window.  “Southeast, sir.  There is . . . well, there was a structure that we were investigating, kinda looked like a church or something.  That’s the last place we had contact with Dr. McKay.”

The ‘jumper made a swing to the left and he maneuvered it up over the treetops, calling up the HUD as he flew.  _Alright_ , John thought, _what am I thinking right now?_   Another screen popped up, followed by two spots blinking red on the bottom left corner.

Parson confirmed the tracker codes, “That’ll be Miller and Barton.”

“But no Rodney.”

“Does not appear that way,” Teyla responded.

John blew out his breath slowly.  Right.  There were several reasons why Rodney’s tracker wouldn’t show up.  Reasons that didn’t end in death or dismemberment.  Maybe it was the Ancient tech’s fault.  A few minutes later, they saw the remains of what had to be the structure Parson’s team was checking out.   John landed the ‘jumper on the edge of the clearing and hit his comm.  “Rodney Mckay, this is John Sheppard, please respond.”  He waited a beat.  “Rodney, it’s John, you there?”  He could feel Lorne, Teyla and Ronon watching him.  “Rodney, please respond if you can hear me.”  His voice wavered slightly.

“Colonel Sheppard, this is Captain Miller.  Where are you?”

John closed his eyes.  Shit.  “Captain, I’m at the blast site.  Come on back; I’ve got an S&R team.”

“Copy that, sir.  ETA, about ten minutes.”

 

*****

 

_Two hours ago_

_This was fascinating, Rodney thought as he read the preliminary scans of the device on the handheld reader.  The levels of microwave radiation it was giving off while barely activated were astonishing.  It looked kind of like one of those chia head things from Earth but without the actual plantlike stuff.  He tilted his head.  Or maybe more skull-like?  At least more skull-like than the others he noticed lying on the floor.  Maybe the Ancients were experimenting with it?  But he could find no evidence of what the other devices could do.  Even what he’d managed to decipher of the writings on the walls had been of no help._

_With a frown, he reached down to pull out his laptop to get a more accurate reading, settled it on the altar next to the device and reached out a hand._

_“Maybe you shouldn’t be touching that, Doctor.”_

_"Yeah, maybe we should get Dominquez back in here.”_

_Rodney huffed, “Who’s the scientist here?  You?  No.  I am.  I know what I’m doing.  Just stay over there and be quiet.  Dominguez wouldn’t know the difference between Wraith language and Ancient; leave him wherever he is.”  He shook his head.  He wished Sheppard had been able to come off world with him.  He always preferred it when the colonel was with him, especially when Ancient technology was involved.  Not only was John’s ATA gene far superior to anyone else’s, other than possibly O’Neill’s, but he was smart.  Not Rodney level smart, but smart enough to keep up._

_Rodney also trusted John with his life.  These guys?  Not so much.  They seemed more preoccupied with discussing the hottest marines from the latest batch the Daedalus dropped off.  They had no clue what kind of horrors the Pegasus Galaxy had to offer, had probably never even seen a Wraith._

_God, he hated going off world without John.  He missed that laidback drawl, the way John had of getting him to think differently; the trust and camaraderie that comes with almost a decade of working and surviving together._

_And that scientist?  Barely deserved the title.  What kind of IQ test was the SGC giving nowadays?  Maybe he’d email Sam, see if they couldn’t up their expectations a bit._

_He set his hand lightly on the device.  The area under his palm was warm to the touch and he checked his laptop.  The levels went up.  And up.  They continued to rise._

_Startled, Rodney pulled his hand away._

_An ominous rumble sounded, kind of like when an animal starts to growl low in their throat.  His head whipped around, searching for those useless marines._

_“What the—?”_

_"I knew touching that thing was a bad idea.”_

_The marines muttered to themselves, looking around fearfully.  Dust started to fall as the rumbling grew louder.  His laptop showed the levels of radiation suddenly skyrocketing.  “What the hell?” he muttered and tapped rapidly on his computer, trying to figure it out._

_"Miller, I’m getting out of here,” one said._

_“Yeah, I’m right there with you.  Radio the others; tell them to get out.  Yo, doc!  You coming?” she called out to him._

_He waved a hand vaguely.  “Yeahyeahyeahyeah, gimme a minute.”_

_The rumbling grew louder and the skull thing actually started glowing.  Rodney stared at it, oddly fascinated.  What was its purpose?  The walls started to shake and Rodney took a step back, looking back and forth from the shaking structure and the weirdly glowing skull thing.  How was this connected?_

_An earthquake came out of nowhere, nearly knocking him over with its intensity.  He had to grab the altarpiece to keep from falling._

_Rodney had a good sense of self-preservation at the best of times.  Occasionally his scientific focus overran it but right now he knew he had to get out.  He quickly gathered up his things, shoving them into the backpack.  It was only as the ground started to give beneath him that he realized the marines had left already.  Damn it!  Never again would he go off with these half-assed SG teams.  He’d send Zelenka before himself._

_Rodney tried to hurry but the ground was giving way faster than he could move.  The device glowed white-hot, filling the room and blinding him momentarily.  When he could see again, the doorway was blocked by falling rock._

_The floor opened up and he fell, fingers scrabbling at nothing as he tumbled.  He lost his pack, reached up for his comm to let the team know his fate._

_His back hit something and then he was sinking into water.  He fell to the bottom quickly and his already cold fingers struggled to undo the vest that was dragging him down.  Spots danced in front of his eyes.  Something splashed down next to him as he landed on the sandy riverbed, fumbling with the buckles._

_Rodney finally got his vest off and pushed toward the surface.  His face broke through.  He sucked in two deep lungfuls of precious oxygen when something smashed into his head.  He went back under and remembered no more._

*****

 

“Have you tried scanning the rubble for life signs?  Or finding a way to get under?” Lorne asked.

Barton and Miller exchanged glances then Miller said, “How?  We can’t lift any of it and we sure can’t see through it.”

John turned to her and said, “So how did you get out?”

“We weren’t right in front of the device when it activated.  We were closer to the entrance to the room while Dr. McKay was by the device.”

“And you didn’t try to take him with you?”

Miller explained, “The ceiling was already caving in.  We couldn’t have made it to him _and_ gotten ourselves out.  We figured, once we got out, we could go back for him.”

“Alright, kiddies, listen up: here’s what we’re gonna do,” John drawled.  “Split into pairs, pick a different direction and do a systematic sweep of the area.  Since we don’t know the complete layout of the building Rodney was in, we don’t know if there were tunnels that he could have made his way through so I’m not giving any sort of distance parameters.  Use your judgment.  If you find anything—and I mean _anything_ —that you think might be of interest or lead to Rodney, radio me instantly.  If I don’t answer, radio Lorne.”

John looked around at the rescue team.  At all of their determined expressions.  And the fearful yet determined look on Carson’s.  Oh.  Right.  “Ronon, with me.  Teyla, okay if I put Beckett with you?”  Carson would annoy Ronon within two minutes, as much as he would like to have Teyla’s calming presence with him.  Teyla exchanged a quick look with Carson and nodded.

“That is fine, Colonel.”

“Good.  Check in every fifteen minutes or so; let us know you didn’t get attacked or something.  Alright, dismissed.”  John stalked away, struggling to contain his emotions.  Anger and fear were threatening to cripple him and he needed to keep his mind clear if he wanted to find Rodney.  But damn it was difficult.

“Sheppard.”  Lorne came up next to him.

“I want them off active rotation,” John said through gritted teeth, the anger roiling through him coming out in the vehemence of his words.  His fists clenched at his sides.

“They were trying to protect themselves.”

“And, in so doing, they abandoned the _one_ person they should have risked _everything_ to save!”

Lorne got in front of him.  “John.  I know how much Rodney means to you but you have to push past your anger and your fear.  Lt. Parson’s team has some new personnel; they’re still trying to find their groove as a team.  We can discipline them later but right now?  This?” and he gestured in John’s direction, “It is not going to help find Rodney any faster.  And the longer we stand around here talking and blaming each other, the less time we have to find him before something really bad happens to him.  So take a breath.  Okay?”

John studied his SIC for a moment, a little surprised at his directness, then closed his eyes and took a minute to just shove all emotion down where it couldn’t affect him.  He’d had enough experience with that throughout his life.  Sheppards didn’t show emotion, his dad had always told him.  Soldiers didn’t show emotion.  And John Sheppard was a soldier.

A soldier was what Rodney needed right now.  Not some emotionally stunted best friend who couldn’t see past his worry and his feelings.

He took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then opened his eyes.  He met Lorne’s gaze and nodded.  “Thanks, Evan,” he said softly.

Lorne nodded.  “Anytime.”

They rejoined the group.  Teyla shot him a questioning look but he just shook his head.   John waved Ronon over and headed for the ruins, leaving them to pair off on their own.

Ronon asked, “Why are we going to the origin of the blast instead of looking for McKay?”

John walked slowly around the edge of the rubble, studying it.  “I want to see something.  And we are looking for him.”

“Uh huh.  What do you want to see?”

There had to be some sort of indicator of where they managed to get out.  Which meant that that would be a hallway and maybe—just maybe—they could find a way inside.  As much as he wanted to go racing off to look, he also knew that he needed a clue as to where to go.  Randomly searching would give the S&R team something to do but he also knew it was a rather pointless activity.  “I’m looking for a hallway.”

“A hallway,” Ronon repeated, his voice flat.

“Yeah.  Those two got out of here before it fully collapsed.  If they knew it was coming down, so would Rodney.  He’s got a good sense of self-preservation; he’d know.  And he’s been off world with us enough times to know how to spot the safest or quickest route out.  Which means he’s either trapped, lost his radio, or he’s unconscious.  Either way, he’s waiting for us to find him.”

Ronon finished, “Plus you want to find out if they were right that they couldn’t get to McKay before it came down.”

John rounded the corner, trailing a hand along the rock pile.  “Let’s just say, I know Rodney McKay.  And he would find a way to make contact.”  With me, at the very least, John thought but didn’t say.

Ronon grunted and they continued to make a circuit of the former building.  Rounding the third corner, they started down the back wall.  A few yards down, John’s foot sunk a few inches and he rocked forward.  Only Ronon’s quick reflexes kept him from going down.

“Thanks,” he said and pulled his boot free from the ground.  Ugh.  Great.  A thought occurred to him and John bent his knees to examine the area.  He poked the ground, thinking.  He hadn’t noticed any mud or sand in the spot.  Or anywhere else, for that matter.  It was grassy back here.  He looked at the edge of the clearing, stood, went a few paces away and bounced a little.  The ground was firm.  He returned to the spot, the ground getting squishier the closer he got.  Huh.

John moved towards the rubble.  Ran his hands across a few blocks—they felt damp.  An idea was forming.  “Parson,” he said over the comm, “do you remember seeing any water in the building?”

Dead air, followed by, “Water, sir?”

“Yeah.  An altar or a river?  Hearing a drain or something?”

“Uhhh . . . . . I don’t really recall, sir.  Barton, Dominguez, Miller—any of you remember water in there before we had to get out?”

Barton and Miller both called in negative but Dominguez mentioned hearing water falling in one of the rooms off the main.  He’d been investigating when the shit hit the fan.  The lightbulb went off in his head and John wiped his hands on his pants and said, “Ronon, I’m headed back to the ‘jumper for a minute.”

Lorne asked, “You want to explain what you’re thinking, Colonel?”

John jogged around the building as he replied, “I think this building was built on top of an underground river and when the Ancient device did whatever it did, the walls caved in, broke through the floor and into the river.  Rodney must have gotten washed away.”  He swung up into the pilot’s seat and brought up the HUD.  “I just gotta figure out where it flowed and where he could have ended up.”

Teyla asked, “Do you want us to keep looking, John?”

“Just a sec, Teyla.”  John directed the HUD with his thoughts, trying for a deeper sweep of the area.  The ‘jumper gave him exactly what he wanted.  Sometimes he was happy to be a glorified light switch.  Unfortunately, there were three possible routes the water could have taken Rodney down.  “Alright, we’re switching things up a bit.  Parson, how long we got til the sun goes down on this planet?”

There was a momentary pause.  “I’d say around two hours or so, sir.  But when it gets dark, it gets dark, Colonel.  This planet has no moon.”

John blinked.  Two hours.  “What kind of planet has no moon?” he asked no one in particular.  “Well, that’s why we’ve got flashlights and NVGs in the packs.  Right.  So: good news is there’s a river.  Bad news is it lets out in three different locations.  Lorne, you and your team take northeast.  Parson, you guys take northwest.  Teyla, Beckett, come on back and we’ll take the southern one.  Everyone copy?”

A chorus of affirmations greeted him and John and Ronon left the ‘jumper to wait for the others.

 

*****

 

Time passed slowly as the three teams tried to follow the winding underground river.  Parson’s river had joined up with a waterfall that fell into a lake.  They were trying to search the area but it was rough going.  The longer they went without any news, the longer John was having increasing trouble fighting back his worry as the sun sank towards the horizon.  Sooner than he’d like, they were relying on the flashlights and NVGs; hoping to catch a glimpse of a heat signature that was larger than a squirrel or freaky looking bird.

“We should ‘ave taken the ‘jumper,” Carson muttered breathlessly, for the twenty eighth time.

For the twenty eighth time, John responded sarcastically, “Yes, Carson.  Let’s go all the way back and take the ‘jumper.  But wait, this planet is covered with trees so there’s no point in flying because the minimum height we’d have to be at would mean nothing below would be visible and we could miss him.” 

“Aye, I understand that.”

_Oh do you?_ John thought acidly.  _Then maybe stop bringing it up._

“But maybe I could ‘ave flown it while you lot walked below.  It’s not like the light’s any better down here.”  His accent had gotten thicker.

John opened his mouth to tell him to shut up again when Teyla interrupted, “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” John said, irritated.  “The never-ending sound of Carson complaining?”

“Hey!”

“No,” Teyla calmly said.  “I believe I hear rushing water.”

John pulled up short and cocked his head, listening intently.  Thankfully, Carson remained quiet.  At first, he heard nothing.  But as the four of them stood and waited, a faint noise reached them.  A noise that sounded suspiciously like running water.  The river must let out here, John realized, and turned them in that direction. 

John panned his flashlight back and forth as he led the way through the brush, swatting branches aside with his free hand.  When they got back to the city, this planet was going on the no-go list, no matter what kind of fancy tech they had here.  He would never be able to think of this place as anything other than the planet Rodney went missing and nearly died on.

The water grew louder.  Something glinted in the flashlight beam.  John shoved aside a particularly low branch and found himself on the edge of a river flowing perpendicular to where he was currently standing.  “Found the river,” he said unnecessarily.

Teyla came up on his left.  “Which way is the building we came from?”

John had to think.  Looked around.  Pointed left.  “That way.  So we go right.”

Faint hope sparked in his chest as they walked down the bank of the river, scanning for any sign that Rodney had been this way.  Equipment, tech, his computer, a piece of clothing, hell, John would take the imprint of his boots or fingers at this point; anything to tell him Rodney was alive.

No.  Rodney _was_ alive.  He couldn’t afford to think otherwise.  He swallowed hard and mentally shoved the fear back down.  He had to keep his focus.  Rodney needed his team leader right now.

 

*****

 

Voices reached him, bouncing off the walls.  Rodney thought that maybe he ought to find out who was talking but even the thought of opening his eyes to check was exhausting.

It was funny how clear your mind got when you were dying.

All the things you thought you’d do, all the things left unsaid. . . . everything came to mind as Rodney came to the conclusion that he was, indeed, dying.

At least he’d gotten the chance to visit the fabled city of Atlantis.  Done a lot that he’d never thought he would.  Made friends he’d never thought he would.

Where the hell was Sheppard?

He’d promised to take care of him when Rodney agreed to join his team.  John had yet to fail—okay, well, yes, he did fail.  Quite spectacularly at times, but he was always there in the end.  John was always there for Rodney, no matter what, which is probably why Rodney had fallen for him so quickly.  Not that he ever said anything because, really, why would someone that looked like John ever want to be with a geek like him?  Even if John was also a closet geek.  But he looked like a Disney prince whereas Rodney looked more like . . . well.  Not a prince.

Okay, no, he wasn’t going crazy.  He did hear something.

Rodney wondered if he was dying at that very moment because if that wasn’t John—or, you know, an actual person—then he was hallucinating and that was never good.

Oh god.  What if it was a Wraith? he suddenly thought.  And why hadn’t that occurred to him before?

Because he was dying, right.  That would definitely impede his thought processes.

 

*****

 

Strike two.

John’s fledgling hope crumbled as he stared at the tiny opening.

After following the very windy river through the forest for a mile or so, John and his team found themselves at the end.   Staring at a rock wall that blocked their way forward.  Not that it mattered because the opening in the rock was barely a foot tall which meant that Rodney would never have made it through.

He couldn’t even bring himself to radio Lorne with the bad news.  Sitting on a rock on the bank, John felt utterly hopeless.  Even Carson had shut up.

Teyla put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly.  “There is still Major Lorne’s river, Colonel.  We will find Rodney.”

Ronon muttered, “But what kind of shape will he be in when we do?”

John didn’t look up from the water but he knew Teyla was glaring at the Satedan.  What was he going to do without Rodney in his life?  When he’d sat in that Ancient chair down at McMurdo Base all those years ago, and a sardonic, handsome man in a bright orange fleece jacket had told him to imagine their location in the solar system, John had never dreamed that that man would come to mean so damn much to him.

And he never got the chance to say anything truly important to Rodney.  Not the things that actually meant something.  He was trying very hard not to think about what it meant that they couldn’t find Rodney on the LSD.  If Rodney was—god, he couldn’t even think the word.  An Atlantis without the brilliant Dr. Rodney McKay?  It simply wasn’t possible.  He dropped his head in his hands.  And what would he tell Jeannie?  She’d kill him for not taking care of her brother. . . . and poor little Madison . . .

His earpiece crackled, “Colonel Sheppard, come in.”

It was Lorne and his voice sounded odd.  With a tired sigh, John slowly reached up to tap his comm.  “Go ahead, Major.”

“We found him.”

John’s head snapped up, astonishment clear on all their faces.  “What?”

“We found McKay.  He’s alive but definitely in need of medical attention.  I’m sending Parson and Dominguez back for the ‘jumper; they’ll pick you up.”

Hope was a horrible thing, to be taken away only to be given back with a moment’s notice.  John huffed out a laugh, rubbing his hands over his face.  Rodney was _alive_.  “We’ll meet them halfway,” John said and jumped to his feet with renewed energy.  He grinned briefly.  Alive.  The need to see Rodney, to _touch_ him, was suddenly overwhelming.

 

*****

 

Light.

There was a light shining on him from above.  Now, he didn’t believe in the whole white light guiding a person _on_ but it had been a stressful day. 

The light moved and dimmed.  He found himself staring at a face.  He blinked several times.  Was this an angel?  It certainly wasn’t a Wraith.  Right?

The person’s mouth moved but Rodney couldn’t understand.

Wait, was it an Ancient?  Was he being given the choice to ascend?  Because he would have to really think about that.  Would it be worth it?  Or what if he said yes just to get out of wherever he was and then de-ascend back to Atlantis?  Could he do that?

“McKay, it’s Major Lorne.  You’re gonna be okay.”  He finally made out what the person was saying.  “McKay?  Can you hear me?  You’re gonna be fine.”

Rodney blinked several times.  He knew that voice. . . . . “Lorne?”

Major Evan Lorne grinned down at him.  “There you are.  Hey, Stevens, toss me another length of rope!”

Rodney started to lift his head only to stop at the spike of pain it induced.  A faint moan escaped his lips.

“Whoa, easy, there, doc.  You’re hurt; just sit back and let me get you out of here.”

Here.  Where was here, anyway?  And where was Sheppard?  He wanted to see John, desperately needed to see him, all of a sudden.

Lorne moved away, doing something he couldn’t see.  He heard a faint _thunk_.  Lorne leaned over him again, doing something, then called up to Stevens and Rodney found himself being lifted up.  His head dropped to his chest.  Below him, he could see Lorne watching him, shining a flashlight up.  He was lifted slowly and he realized that he’d been at the bottom of a cliff, partially submerged in water.  There was rope tied around him in a makeshift harness.

So that’s what Lorne had been doing.

His leg bumped the cliff face and he let out an inarticulate cry of pain.  The sound echoed weirdly and Rodney gritted his teeth against the pain, mentally swearing up a storm.  Then hands were on him, pulling him over the lip and settling him against a rock where he struggled to catch his breath and stay conscious.

It wouldn’t do to pass out now.

Rodney let his head drop back against the rock and watched as they pulled Lorne up.  The major came immediately over to him, keeping his light out of Rodney’s eyes as he knelt.  “Where are you hurt?”

It took a solid minute for Rodney to understand what he meant.  Then he looked down his body, lifted a shaky hand and pointed at his left leg.  It was too much effort to speak at the moment.  Lorne switched sides, set the flashlight on the ground, and gently ran his hands down Rodney’s leg.  Upon reaching his ankle, Rodney let out a gasp and flinched, which only exacerbated the pain.  Lorne rocked back on his heels and turned to him.  “I think your ankle’s broken.  Might have been the result of the stone I had to move off of you.  Or maybe when the building collapsed on you.”

A building collapsed on him?  Now that it had been mentioned—

 

_An ominous rumble sounded . . . ._

 

_The walls started to shake and Rodney took a step back . . ._

 

_The floor opened up and he fell, fingers scrabbling at nothing as he tumbled._

_. . . . . then he was sinking into water._

“McKay!”

He blinked, Lorne’s face coming into focus.  He’d gotten lost in the memory.  His breath came in short bursts.

Lorne was next to him again, fingers pressed against his neck.  He swore softly.  “Jesus, your skin’s like ice.  Okay, we gotta get you warm until Beckett gets here.  Do you think you can stand?  I’ve got a fire going.”

Rodney just stared at him.  He felt fine, except for the pain in his ankle.  Lorne seemed to take his silence as a no and motioned someone over.  Together, they managed to get Rodney up and sort of standing.  His head spun now that he was no longer horizontal and he felt his legs buckle.

They caught him and Rodney took a shaky breath, leaning on Lorne and just breathing for a minute.  When he felt marginally better, he nodded.  It was slow going and he was limping, keeping his eyes on the ground.  Rodney started to feel the faintest flicker of warmth and realized he was indeed freezing.  The shivers started to kick in at about that time.

“RODNEY!”

His head snapped up.  He knew that voice instinctively, although not so much the panic.  That was rare.  Rodney stopped—forcing Lorne to stop as well—and looked around, praying he wasn’t hearing things.  And he wasn’t, because just on the other side of the fire—

—John Sheppard was running towards them.  Towards him. 

In the glow of the fire, John’s expression was completely unguarded and there was a wealth of emotion on it.  Fear.  Worry.  Relief.  In those few seconds before John reached him, it was like everything else fell away and it was just the two of them. 

“John,” he breathed and something settled deep inside him.  John found him.

Then John was here, in front of him.  Rodney barely registered Lorne pulling away; he was too focused on the man he most wanted to see.  John reached out, grabbed his collar and yanked him into a kiss.  John’s lips were soft and warm and Rodney wanted nothing more than to kiss him forever.  John pulled away but didn’t let go.

“Don’t you _ever_ scare me like that again,” John said, his voice ragged with emotion, his chest heaving.

Rodney stared at him, his brain frantically trying to keep up.  His lips spread in a slow smile.  He leaned forward and pressed his lips against John’s.  John immediately tugged him closer, wrapping his arms around Rodney’s waist.  Rodney put his hands on John’s chest, feeling the other man’s heart pound.

Sounds faded in and out but he attributed that to the emotional high.  Then suddenly they weren’t kissing anymore and why was John looking down at him?

“Rodney?   Rodney, what’s wrong?  CARSON!”

John’s panicked call was the last thing Rodney knew before the world went black.

 

*****

 

Relief mingled with concern as John held Rodney close.  No, they were not cuddling.  He was simply trying to get the other man warm.  Carson was worried about hypothermia.  They maybe should have been in the ‘jumper, but the fire was warmer.  And it allowed him to hold Rodney close and reassure himself that the scientist was alive.

Rodney was soaking wet, his body freezing cold.  Lorne informed him that they’d found him with their NVGs because his body heat was so low it didn’t even register on the LSD.  It was just on a whim that Stevens had checked the ravine.  So close to not finding him, John thought with a slight shake of his head.  Half-submerged in water, his leg pinned, it was a wonder Rodney had been conscious at all when Lorne got down there.

He also had a nasty head wound, probably a concussion.  Not to mention the cuts and bruises from the building collapse.  Beckett said he was damn lucky to be alive.  He wished they had a change of clothes for him, but the most they could do was remove his jacket and shirt.  John had wrapped him in a blanket from the ‘jumper then draped his jacket over Rodney’s shoulders and pulled him close, hoping the contact would help warm him.

Rodney gave a full body shiver and breathed in sharply.

“Rodney?” John asked.  “You awake?”

“Sheppard?”  His voice was faint.

“Yeah.  It’s me.  How you feeling, buddy?”  He couldn’t keep the tenderness out of his voice.  He was just so damn relieved. 

Rodney shivered again, murmured, “Cold.”

John ran his hands up and down Rodney’s arms.  “I know.  I’m trying.  You in any pain?”

Rodney shivered again and John called, “Barton!”  The marine looked up from where he was sitting on the other side of the fire.  “Bring me another emergency blanket from the ‘jumper.”

“Right away, sir,” Barton said and jumped up.  John hid a smile at his apparent eagerness.  They felt bad about the events of the day, and rightfully so.  He still planned on busting their asses after they all got back home.

“So,” John said after the blanket had been settled across Rodney’s legs, “ _are_ you in any pain?”

Rodney asked, “Is this your jacket?”

“Yeah.  Pain, McKay.”

Rodney tugged the edges of the jacket closer, practically burrowing into it.  John kept his hands moving over Rodney’s arms, smiling a little.  “M’ head hurts a little.  Can’t really feel much else.”

John nodded.  “Well, Beckett gave you a shot of morphine so he could set your ankle.”

“Oh.  Okay.  That makes sense.  Why aren’t we in Atlantis where it’s not freezing cold?”

“Rodney, you spent most of the day in a river.  And we’re not in Atlantis because I don’t want to risk leaving half my people behind on a planet I know nothing about.”  John waved Carson over.  “Besides, we didn’t know how badly you were injured.”  His voice had gone quiet.

Rodney gave another full body shiver.  “You and your soldier logic,” he muttered but there was no bite to it.

John nuzzled his neck, pressed his lips lightly against Rodney’s cheek, and murmured, “And here I thought you liked my soldier logic.”

“Should I come back?” Carson asked, amused.

“Hey, doc,” John said cheerfully.

Rodney’s face felt warm.  Shit, was he blushing?  How could he be blushing when he was still so damn cold?  Wait, so did that mean—?  “Don’t you have any drugs that will make me warm?” he demanded weakly.

Carson pulled out a penlight and shone it in his eyes.  Rodney flinched away at the brightness.  “Sorry, Rodney.  We’re gonna have tae warm ye the old fashioned way.  Your pupils aren’t reacting; that’s proof of a concussion.  Do try to keep him awake this time, Colonel.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault he passed out,” John defended.

“Aye well I’m pretty sure kissing the livin’ daylights out of the man when he’s barely able tae stand was not good for him, either.”  Carson shot them both a knowing look.

Rodney felt John’s hands stop briefly then resume their movement up and down his arms.  It was soothing and he did feel a little warmer than before.  So it wasn’t a hallucination?  Carson continued checking on him, poking at the wound on his head, among other things.  He took a breath and blurted out, “Did that happen?”

“Did what happen?” John asked.

Carson quietly repacked his bag and left them alone.

“You kissed me.  That happened, right?  Or was I dreaming?  Am I dead?  Is this a hallucination?”

John smiled a little and pressed his lips to Rodney’s damp hair.  “No, Rodney.  You’re not dead or dreaming.  It was not a hallucination or a vision or anything of the sort.  I really did kiss you.  And you kissed me back,” he added.

Rodney hummed then shivered. 

John’s voice was barely audible as he said, “I’d like to do it again, if you’ll let me.”

Weak as he felt, Rodney still felt the need to scoff.  “ _Let_ you?  Colonel, I’d have let you kiss me years ago if I had even an inkling that you felt something for me other than strictly friendship.”

John said hesitantly, “Even with DADT?”

“Like we actually adhered to that on Atlantis.”  He swiped at a drop of water that rolled down his forehead.  “I have been wanting to kiss you for ages.  Never thought I’d have to practically die for something to happen.”

 John stiffened.  “Don’t,” he said sharply.  “Don’t joke.  Not about you almost dying.”

Rodney sighed and forced his tired, aching body to lean forward slightly.  He managed to twist around and meet John’s gaze.  John’s usual mask of calm indifference was gone, replaced by his true emotions.  Knowing it would let cold air in, Rodney let go of the jacket with one hand and pressed it against John’s chest, right over his heart.  He said softly, “I am fine, John.  A little banged up but I’m alright.  Nothing Beckett can’t fix.”

“Too close,” John said, shaking his head.  “This was too close.”

 Okay, this wasn’t working.  Well, he did prefer actions over explanations.  Rodney closed the distance between them and gently kissed John.  John’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him close, and deepened the kiss.

When they pulled apart, John pressed their foreheads together and said, “I’m adding a new rule to the list as soon as we get back.”

Rodney huffed a faint laugh.  “Which stupid rule are you adding this time?”

John met his gaze, his eyes bright with emotion.  “The one that says you are never, _ever_ , allowed to go off world without me again.”

Rodney felt a smile spread across his face.  “Now, _that_ is one rule that I know I won’t have any trouble following in the future.”

John returned his smile.  “Good.”  They kissed again.  “Now, since Beckett says you have to stay awake, tell me: what the hell was so damn interesting in that building?”

 

*****

 

John strolled through the halls of Atlantis, hands in his pockets and whistling as he exited a transporter.  He’d finally gotten out of his slew of meetings for the day and had a few hours free, just in time for a late dinner.  He wondered what kind of “food” they were serving today.

As he headed for a certain scientist’s lab, he couldn’t keep back the smile.  He could hear the man yelling from the next hallway over.  He swiped the door open and leaned against it, crossing his arms over his chest.  John smiled fondly as he watched his partner berate a scientist.

“. . . . is this?  You call this science?”  Rodney got right in her face.  “My 13 year old niece could do a better job than you!”

The woman mumbled something; John only caught a few words.  Something about her having a doctorate in physics, maybe?

Rodney scoffed and waved a tablet in the air.  He was in his element and John loved watching him.  Rodney snapped, “Do you think I give a damn about what kind of degree you have?  It means nothing if you can’t even manage to compute a simple formula!  How the hell do you expect me to implement a program if you can’t even do proper addition!”

She looked on the verge of tears and Rodney’s voice was getting higher and higher.  He nodded to himself.  Time to step in.  “Roooodneeey,” John called out in a singsong voice.

Rodney spared him a quick glance then flapped an impatient hand at him.  “Busy.”  He walked over to a table along the wall, the boot around his ankle thumping loudly.  He dropped the tablet on the table, turned back to the scientist still standing in the middle of the room and waved at the door.  “Go.  Get out of here.  I can’t be around your stupidity anymore.  Go . . . bother Zelenka or something while I fix your incompetence.”

She ran out of the room and John caught a glimpse of her tear-streaked face.  Shaking his head, John walked inside as Rodney sat at the table and started typing.  He couldn’t remember the girl’s name.  Must be new, he thought, if he didn’t recognize her—and he was usually damn good at that—along with the fact that she clearly wasn’t at all used to McKay’s acerbic voice and mode of teaching.  He nodded to the rest of the scientists in the room.  Most waved or nodded and went back to work because they were used to it.  Getting screamed at by Dr. Rodney McKay was a rite of passage on Atlantis.

John headed right for the one person in the room he wanted to see.  Rodney was working on the tablet he’d been waving but there were also two desktop screens on the table that were running simulations.  He studied them as he walked up—looked like they were trying to adapt naquadah to Ancient tech.  Huh.  That could be kinda fun.

Reaching Rodney’s chair, John put his hands on Rodney’s shoulders and bent down to kiss his head.

“Not now, John.  I’m busy.  In case you didn’t hear.”

He started to knead Rodney’s neck, feeling the tension in the muscles, but didn’t respond.  His thumbs hit a particularly tense spot and Rodney suddenly let out a low moan, leaning back into his hands.  John grinned and leaned forward to murmur into Rodney’s ear, “ _You_ are supposed to be taking it easy.  Doctor’s orders, if you’ll recall?”

Rodney replied archly, “I am.  I’m not involved in all of the experiments going on.  Besides, Beckett doesn’t understand that I can’t just lie in bed for days on end.”

Now that, John knew.  Rodney got bored quickly.  He continued the massage.  “Which one did you make cry this time?  I didn’t recognize her.”

“Oh,” Rodney said dismissively, still working, but he was relaxing.  “I don’t know.  Pincer or Oakridge, who knows.  She’s been here a month or so.  Completely useless, if you ask me.”

John hummed.  “So why don’t you let Zelenka or one of the guys in here finish what you’re working on and you let me take you to dinner?”

Rodney finally abandoned the computers to lean fully back in his chair, giving himself completely to John’s massage.  He murmured, “That feels nice.”

John leaned down to kiss the back of his neck, sliding his hands down to loop across Rodney’s chest.  “Come on, McKay.  Take a break and spend some quality time with your boyfriend.”

Rodney spun the chair around and looked up at him, a knowing smile on his face.  “Well, when you put it that way . . .”

John smiled charmingly.  Rodney held out his hands.  John took the invitation, pulled Rodney to his feet and into a kiss.  “I figured you’d see it my way.”

They headed out of the lab hand in hand.  Rodney’s voice drifted back as the door slid shut, “I swear, if they’re serving that disgusting excuse for mac & cheese again, I will refuse to eat.”

John’s loud laughter was the last thing the group of scientists heard.  They all took a moment to look around and breathed a collective sigh of relief.  Then one of them headed for the door to check on Oke.  A couple of them headed for the table Rodney had been at moments before and started working.

All was right in Atlantis once again.


End file.
